I wanted him to mean something. I wanted to wake up the next day and be able to easily speak out “wow, last night was amazing and we should do it again sometime, we should do it again because we’re together and we’re happy.” But these hopes are tied to thin string and my grasp is becoming a bit frantic. I am the storm and you are the sun. I want to parade around on everything, show them that I’m more than just a cause to getting wet, that I could become so much more than a trickle. I could be a hurricane, a typhoon, permanent destruction. But you dry me out with heat I couldn’t get from opening a window in the middle of August. You drain, twist, and pin me to a line so high from where my feet feel safe. You are my dedication and I feed on your attention like I’ve never been shown the slightest hospitality. I want to be out where people can see, but only if your fingers find mine, only if your eyes light up when my voice becomes apparent, only if my doubts are wrong and become first class tickets to a right. I want you to mean something.



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